To: All Publishers
Subject: Urgent Memo
No book that I like should ever go out of print. This includes books that I read when I was a kid, books that I saw once at a used book sale and meant to buy but didn't, and any book that anyone has ever mentioned to me that sounded cool.
Also, please keep the exact same cover, illustrations and font that the book had the first time I read it. I can't tell you which edition I read... maybe it was the first, maybe the 21st.... but I'm sure you can figure it out telepathically.
All books that you publish should be in hardcover because they're really prettier that way, and more durable for libraries. Please also publish all your books in paperback, because that would make me so much more likely to buy them. I would appreciate if you would publish both hardcovers and paperbacks at the same time, because I really hate waiting a year or more for the cheaper copy to be released.
My library (like all libraries) takes a little while to process new books, so I end up waiting months for the hot new book that everyone is talking about. By the time I get the book, everyone has stopped talking about it. If you would kindly send all new books to libraries about 3 months before they're released... that would just be lovely.
Books that I don't like can go out of print whenever you feel like it.
Thank you for your attention to these important matters.